UKSA Blog

Choose you!

Published 06/08/2020

Do you know just how fabulous you are? With the way you look at things, with what you know, you really are one of a kind.

I am guessing you don’t always see yourself that way though. And, because you don’t, I’m  guessing that when a choice needs to be made, you don’t choose you.

Maybe it’s that when your needs are on the line with the needs of another’s, you choose theirs. Perhaps when you are choosing a film with a friend, you give their opinions and tastes and wants more sway. It could be that in the moments when you go to voice your take on a situation, you sit right back down again, not placing value on your insights and what you know. Possibly when faced with one of those difficult and awkward conversations you find that you nod your head in agreement, when really, you totally and utterly disagree but to say what you think feels scary. It may be that you are just not used to being vocal about your side of things and you worry if there is fall out it will be your fault.

There are lots of times we decide not to choose ourselves. We seem to choose instead to step aside and give way for every other person or task or deadline or problem.

Placing others on a really big  pedestal constantly and consistently means we never ever feel as though we match-up and that has a huge knock-on effect. It can affect the jobs we might apply for, the partners and friends we choose, the rubbish we put up with, the compromises in our relationships, the things we spend our money on, the way we might even spend any free time. It affects how we see ourselves, and scarily, how we see and treat ourselves is a bit like an instruction manual to others – if we don’t show them we expect respect and care, and that we have healthy boundaries, views and something to say, then they start to downgrade and get lazier in how they treat us too.

Just know that you deserve space and love and a say and influence in what’s going on around you. Choosing to be your own champion and cheerleader, does not make you arrogant, self-indulgent, selfish, or full of yourself, it makes you happy, well-rounded, and equal to anyone.

Stay well x
Kim Fry
UKSA Welfare Officer