UKSA Blog

What do you see?

Published 13/08/2020

Sometimes when we peek into the lives of others either digitally or in real life, we never see all of it. In fact, we only see what the other person wants to show us. We do not see what people don’t want us to see and people often don’t want us to see the parts of themselves that they consider to be less favourable

Consider you. Do you share the warts and all stuff, your mistakes, the more uncomfortable emotions, the doubts, any regrets, the stuff you are working through?

To be honest, none of us do, we show an edited version and in doing so create a discord between what we know to be true for ourselves and what appears to be true for others. Our unedited self-awareness grants us unlimited access to the whole of ourselves, including all the wonky bits and disappointment as well as the good bits. It is important to remember we only have access to the parts that other people allow us to have access to which is most often their fabulous worry-free good bits.

This is when the bother starts and the feeling as though there is something missing with our own stories, by comparing ourselves to others we start to think there is something missing with us. We feel as though we are lacking and that perhaps we are not enough.

But we forget there are two incomparable viewpoints at play. There will undoubtedly be people who are looking at you and see only what you grant them access to see and who’ll think you’ve got all your ducks in a row and marvel at your organised and seemingly perfect life.

We naturally compare our lives with others and it is usual to edit what we share and the same goes for what others may share with us. So, when comparing be mindful that you might be comparing your life to someone’s else’s a highly edited version. Be mindful that your whole self is incomparable to an edited camera click. Be mindful that your worries and concerns and battles are there but rarely presented for others to view. And most importantly do not put yourself down, you are great as you are, and you really are doing terrifically in a world that’s changing every day.

Stay well x
Kim Fry
UKSA Welfare Officer