The Blurt Foundation has written a fantastic piece about the importance of making changes, especially given the time of the year. Have a read, enjoy, and embrace the change. 

One of the weird things about getting older is realising that some of the rules our parents had, the ones that didn’t make sense at the time, actually still don’t. It’s amazing when we think about it how much stuff like that we inherit and don’t question. Not just in homes we grew up in but in our schools, our workplaces, our societies as a whole.

Just because something has always been done a certain way, doesn’t mean it always has to be. It’s good to question traditions, rules, constructs, it really is. If they don’t make sense to you, then they probably won’t make sense to others either and that’s such a golden chance to make meaningful sensical change.

This time of year is rife with ‘but we always have done this/that/it this way’ with families enforcing the status quo that’s probably been passed down through the ages. For some of us, there’s comfort in the same patterns and routines, but for some of us, it can feel constricting and send us on the not-so-merry path of dread and resentment.

Doing things just to keep others happy is the most rotten rod for your back. Every day, week, month, tradition, festivity that’s miserable for you but you ‘go along with it’ is a waste of your opportunity to make your life a fully happy, honest, and healthy one. As an adult, you have more say and sway than you might feel empowered with. It’s not unreasonable to ask for flexibility – it never is. Our relationships should be full of clear communication and compromise. 

If the festive season is rife with things that are already making your eyes roll, that you’re not at all looking forward to, and you’re wishing away, please speak up for yourself and edit how this chapter will play out.  It’s never easy going against the grain but you already know that,  because if anything you’ve just read resonates with you you’ll have been going against the grain of who you are for ages.

It’s never too late to change your mind, renegotiate expectations, and to re-write how your story unfolds. Never.

Kim Fry
UKSA Welfare Officer